Sour Attitude

Zwanze Day, September 23rd, 2017. So close I can almost taste it. Except that nobody has actually tasted the Zwanze 2017 yet. (I suppose the people at the brewery in Brussels have probably tasted it.) For those of you that don't know, Zwanze Day is a day (duh) where a special Cantillon lambic is poured at some of the top beer bars in the world. "What's that, you ask? Clarify 'the world'?" OK, how about this: 66 places in 18 countries, from the Pacific, throughout Europe and Scandinavia, all the way to the US, including Hawaii. It literally wraps around the world, and it is all about the greatest lambic producer in the world, Cantillon.

"But I can get the beer later if I want it, right?"
No. It will all be gone on one day.
"But surely you mean that just the draft will be gone. I can go down to the store and get a bottle next week, right?"
No. Apparently you don't know very much about Cantillon, my friend. And don't call me Shirley. Bottles are even more scarce than draft. Plus, if a brewery is going to do an international event on a single day across the globe with a coordinated toast from the brewmaster himself, they better have a damn special beer to generate that much hype. Cantillon Zwanze is that beer.

Stateside, the beer will be available in just 28 places across 19 states and the District of Columbia. So yeah, the beer is rare. One keg per location. If you live in one of the 30 states not getting this beer...bummer. Actually, don't feel bad. This is the first year that Georgia has ever had a Zwanze Day, and Atlanta is a pretty major metropolitan area. Maybe our beer scene has finally made the big time. Maybe who really cares why, let's just enjoy it.

So how do you get to be a part of Zwanze Day 2017? It's easy (not really). Just be one out of 100 people to get to The Porter Beer Bar early enough to claim your Zwanze ticket. However, if you are just now getting your plans together to be a part of the festivities, be advised that people--a lot of people--are going to line up early to ensure they get in the door. In addition to the single keg of Zwanze 2017, there is a tremendous lineup of Cantillon (and other beers) available that day. Need the details? Click here. Suffice it to say that most of us are going to make an entire day out of it, antacids will be needed after all that sour beer, and Uber is going to be busy this Saturday.

So what is Zwanze the beer? Well, each year it is different, and getting something "different" from a brewery that is so deeply steeped in tradition as Cantillon is pretty damn exciting. But in addition to that, each year's Zwanze is very unique and, well, can be a little odd. This year, for example, it is a blended lambic with Oolong tea leaves added. Apparently the brewmaster's son just turned 18, and to commemorate that he got to contribute some ideas as to what direction to take this year's brew. That means that Zwanze Day 2017 is the only chance to taste a one-of-a-kind lambic from the world's king of lambic producers, using an ingredient that is very much outside the canon of lambic traditions. In addition, the beer is clearly dear to the heart of its maker, with his son, Sylvain, being invited to take part. Apparently he likes tea quite a bit. Based on the label artwork, we can guess what kind of TV the young man likes to watch as well. If an Oolong tea lambic sounds gross to you, well, again, you don't know very much about Cantillon. They know what they're doing. Beer lovers around the world have 09/23/2017 on their calendars for a reason (or 23/09/2017 if you live anywhere but the US).

If you need more info on other beer happenings around the metro Atlanta area this weekend, I recommend you poke around and find some Tired Hands kegs out there. These are also a rarity, especially in Atlanta, and no one knows when we will see this beer in Atlanta again. Fingers crossed that it's soon. Kegs went to Argosy, Brick Store, Leon's, Midway, and Square Pub this week. They will know when those kegs are getting taped. Might be gone already, might be pouring as we speak for all I know.

In addition, start looking for Hourglass Brewing out there. This Florida brewery has some outstanding stuff that's worth seeking out. Saison du Sablier is my favorite, but that's just me. Everything they make is top-notch.

That is all I have for you right now folks. Have a great weekend, and be sure to drink a lot of beer.

A Liberating Experience

This ought to be fun. At least I hope it is. You see, I need a new blog for my new job, but thought maybe I should just resurrect my old one instead. It looks like there are still followers here, and very few of you look to be ill enough in your profile photos to have passed away since I let this thing fizzle out a few years back. So what the hell, let's see if y'all are still out there craving fun stories about beer drinking.

Let's start with the explanation for why Fred's Beer Page fizzled out.

1. I left Atlanta in late 2013, where pretty much all of my readers live(d). 
2. My job at the time did not really lead to a lot of fun, crazy beer adventures like my old one did. 

Nobody wanted to hear about me going to work Monday through Friday and sitting behind a desk. Turns out I didn't really want to live that life any more than you wanted to read about it, so I flew the coop. Now I am back in Atlanta, working for a distributor that has the sexiest beer line-up around. It is run by a few of my friends, who asked me to join the party. Joining parties is something I have been known to do, so I did.

Here's the thing about a distributor though: Most of them are pretty much behind the scenes. You go to beer events at bars, in parks, wherever, and the distributor is nowhere to be seen. They dropped off the beer, picked up a check, and split. We are going to do things a little differently. The stuff we sell is higher end, rarer, and a little more exclusive. See the logo? "We deliver the bomb". No kidding. These beers are badass. People need to know that when the Liberator guys roll up, it is a pimp ass event, and you want to be there. So the plan is that we are going to be sure people know when and where the Liberator events are happening. Also, most of these breweries don't have salespeople in the area, so we are it. You think someone from Estonia is in town repping beer? Do you even know where Estonia is? (Go ahead and look. I bet you it's not where you think it is.)

I enabled the comments for this blog now. God help us. Please, if you are a troll or a hater, keep your stupid comments to yourself. If you make me disable the comments, I will make sure everyone else knows who ruined it for them. Remember: beer should be fun. If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong. If you want to comment and say, "I am still here. Don't start a new blog. This one is fine by me.", I would appreciate it. If you want to use the publicity of the comments section to get any other point across, please be aware that nobody cares what you think. They subscribed to this for one reason: beer. Let's stick to the topic at hand, shall we?

It feels good to be back. If you're out there, let me know about it. If not, I hope you are still able to find delicious beers without me. I am sure you can. Cheers.

PS - You can follow Liberator Distributing on Instagram at thebeerbombarbiers. We will be dropping bombs all over Georgia, so get ready. Shit's about to get real.

C'Mon Man!

First of all, I am not a fan of malls. This is no secret. Bad music, bright lights, obnoxiously strong perfume, and tons of people whose sole purpose for being there seems to be to stroll aimlessly around in front of me. Seriously people...is this your idea of a good time? Wandering around like a zombie pushing a stroller? You may not have anything better to do today, but I do. Move to the right. Or better yet, just move faster. I do not go to the mall to shop. I go to buy. The internet is for shopping. Stores are for buying. All I need is to get around the stroller zombies, find the items I want to purchase, complete the transaction and get the hell out of there. I bought a new laptop computer. Took me ten minutes. Five minutes to get assistance, and then five more to decline all of the add-on bullshit they try to sell you and then swipe my card. It took me twenty minutes to drive there, ten to find the store I wanted, ten to make a purchase, and twenty more to drive home. One hour and I had a brand new computer. Why people seem perfectly content to slowly amble through a mall, staring blankly at everything until some of it accumulates in bags that they drag around is beyond me. If that is what "Saturday" becomes for me, will you please do me a favor and kill me? Attention authorities: I have given my readers permission to take my life under strict circumstances. Do not prosecute them if I am found dead a midst bags full of tightly fitting clothing, heavily scented body lotions, and iPhone accessories. I asked for that. It was a mercy killing.

And then there is this guy....I was parked in front of his truck. I thought he was just taking his time straightening it out, but no. He just decided that he need two spots, because he was that important.
OK, I get it. There was plenty of parking. No one needed that extra half a spot he took, but that is not the point. He didn't need it either. And he got out of his car and looked at me like, "What?", as if it is no big deal to be such a self-important jackass that you take more than you need and tell the rest of the world to go to hell. When you're at the gas station and there is a penny cup, you don't just pour them all in your pocket and walk out. You take what you need, and you leave the rest. Sometimes you even contribute to it. Not this guy. But I guess if you're an uneducated, inbred hick, you don't care if people think you're a jerk because you're too stupid to care. As if I wasn't dreading the mall already, this is the kind of fellow American I had to deal with on my way into the god-awful place.

C'mon man! Try not to be a dick just once.

Luckily there are some good people out there though. People who either have a sense of humor and share it freely, or maybe just people who are crazy and don't mind if you laugh at them. Later in the week I was walking around my neighborhood in Baltimore, enjoying a beautiful spring day, when I came across this spray painted sheet. I gave it a glance and walked on, smiling a little at the humor in it. Not so much the message, which is funny for multiple reasons, but the fact that some people took the time to spray it on a purple sheet in metallic paint and hang it off their porch. Maybe it's simply for the amusement of friends and strangers alike. Maybe it is to keep friends and strangers alike from bothering them during a particularly heavy acid trip, who knows? Either way, I don't understand binary code, so your guess is as good as mine as to what it says to the robots in their own language. If it is binary gibberish, well, that's just going to piss the robots off, and that's not going to be a good idea. No reason to add fuel to the fire that is the Robot Apocalypse.

Resistance is, after all, futile. 

I don't have much else for you today folks. I am off to Atlanta on Wednesday, so if you see me down there, don't freak out. It's really me, not a mirage. I'll prove it. Just buy me a beer and watch me drink it. A mirage can't do that. Until then, enjoy yourselves this week. And if you're name is Spring, you are welcome here in Baltimore any time. Whenever you are ready, so are we.

Coming Soon To A Fred Near You

Hello Readers! I am in the middle of spring cleaning, literally and figuratively. I have a ton of new things to tell you about, so stay tuned for some fun posts as soon as I get settled. I am headed to Atlanta this Wednesday, and it is my first trip back since I moved away in November. I lived there for thirteen years, so naturally I am excited to return. You guys chill out for a while, and I will be back in touch soon with stories galore. Until then, keep your eyes on the plants and trees. Spring is quite awe-inspiring, but it happens very fast. Don't miss one of nature's glories while you have the chance. It only happens once a year. Bye for now!

The Night We Almost Lost Eddie

This year's European beer trip was another incredible journey through the beers, breweries and the brewing

I had this, and suarbraten, for lunch.

cities of the Old World. I got to revisit Munich finally, having been there for a few days in 2011. It is refreshing to see places that just don't change. Here in America, everything is changing all the time. No problem. That's what we're good at. But in some places, they like everything just the way it has always been, and they don't plan on changing a thing. An American beer drinker these days expects something different every time they walk into a beer bar or store, and in general they get it. If that's what you want, and you get all bent out of shape when you don't get it (you know who you are), then stay out of Munich. They make just a few styles of beer there, and they make them really, really well. What I love about Munich is that these classic beer styles, which are mainly overlooked now in the American craft beer scene, have subtle differences from brewery to brewery. Think you're knowledgeable about beer because you drink every wacky beer you can get your hands on? Try picking out the nuances between six different versions of the same style of beer with essentially the same recipes. Just shellacking your tongue with flavor every time you sip a beer doesn't do a whole lot to fine tune your beer drinking abilities. Plus, why did we all stop drinking hefeweizens? I pounded those things all over that town and loved every minute of it. Go out and buy a real Munich hefeweizen, pour it into a real hefe glass, keep the fruit off the damn glass (!), and enjoy. They don't put fruit in their beer in Germany, and you shouldn't either. They do, however, drink a lot of what is called a Radler, which is beer and lemonade. I had one, and it was delicious. One of my fellow travelers swore by them as a morning beverage.

We rode in a bus over to Austria to visit a newly accredited Trappist brewery call Stift Engelszell. The monastery was very scenic as you would imagine, resting on the edge of the Danube river. The brewing facility is relatively new, but they also make some phenomenal schnapps in just about every flavor imaginable, and some great stinky cheese. They didn't quite expect the enthusiasm for schnapps from our group, being a group of beer lovers that we were. But once the schnapps samples started flowing, things got a little lively in that tiny distillery. They had some that were super thick, like eggnog, and one with poppy seeds that looked like salad dressing. There was hazelnut, herbal liqueurs, and every fruit you could think of. I got a bottle of strawberry that we drank on the bus the next day. Should have bought two and brought one home. Oh well.

Beer and schnapps from the monks.

  

We also visited a small farmhouse brewery in Austria called Hofstetten. They make a beer called Granite Bock that is cooled in granite tubs, and then red-hot granite rocks are added to caramelize some sugars for added flavor. Very cool and very tasty beer. They also make some great lighter beers, including an unfiltered lager, and an incredible pilsner that is dry-hopped for nine months. No kidding. It takes the same amount of time to make a baby. Well...you know what I mean.

Vienna was our next stop, and it is truly a spectacular city. The beers are relatively boring really, especially if you had just left Munich. Austrian beers are like German beers, but just not as expertly done. However, there is a brew pub in Vienna called 1516 that makes a variety of beers like oatmeal stout, wit bier with quince, and a Victory Hop Devil that they made on site. What? Yep, they have guest brewers come to their little spot in Austria to make a clone of their American craft beers. Frequent readers may recall that Spike, brew master and co-founder of Terrapin Beer Company, is on all of these trips I have taken to Europe, and that he typically brews a collaboration while over there. This time he just helped this Austrian brewer make a batch of Terrapin Rye Pale Ale. So in a few days, the beer drinkers of Vienna will be enjoying fresh Terrapin Rye, brewed right in their own little brew pub. Pretty cool, don't you think? Now I am trying to get a Heavy Seas brewer set up with this guy over there so the Viennese can get some Loose Cannon.

Next stop was Pilsen in the Czech Republic, home to Pilsner Urquell. And guess what Americans? They pronounce the "u". It is not "pils-ner ur-kell", it is "pils-ner ur-kwell". The brewery was impressively large and clean as you would expect, but the cellars were like a trip back in time. Huge open vats made of wood for fermentation, and what seemed like miles of giant lagering barrels. We got to drink some unfiltered Pilsner Urquell on a few occasions, and it was definitely packed with flavor.

Open fermentation at Pilsner Urquell.

  

The town of Pilsen, however, was packed with weirdos. I felt uneasy in that town from the minute I stepped off the bus. It is a very blue-collar town, but in an Eastern European kind of way. The people, you could tell right away, have seen some hardships in their lives. Almost as if their whole lives had been as cold, damp and dreary as the day itself. It seemed like every building had some sort of seedy activity going on, and sure, I don't speak the language, so I had virtually no basis for thinking that except that seedy activity is kind of an international language. It's the looks on the people faces and their body language that oozes no good. You don't have to speak the language to identify creepy. You also don't have to speak the language to knowingly walk into a creepy looking place late at night in a foreign city, which is exactly what I did. This, folks, is a "casino" called Non Stop in Pilsen. I did not realize it at the time, but I think the translation to English is actually, "No Really, Do Not Stop Here. This Place Sucks, And You Might Get Stabbed."

This is technically called a "casino". No kidding.

In a nutshell, very shady looking people chain smoking their asses off in front of electronic gambling machines. And it appeared as though the only light in the room was coming from those machines. Next to the front door was a cooler with beer bottles in it, and there was a counter with a very small and devious looking, dark complected man with a pencil thin mustache. Oh yeah, creep city. This guy's English was non-existent, as is my Czech, but we managed to negotiate the sale of the beer and a shot from some bottle he had behind the counter. I may have gotten ripped off, but I can't complain about that. I was the one who walked into a seedy looking building on a dark corner of a foreign city in the middle of the night. I would expect to get ripped off in a place like that. Once I surveyed the room and realized that I had absolutely no business being there and should leave right away, I couldn't. I had a full beer. So I sat down at one of these slot machines and fed some money into it. I pressed the button and the things whirred around and the machine made what I thought were positive noises. Ding, ding ding! I couldn't read what it was telling me, but ding, ding, ding sounded good, so I pressed the button again. Same thing happened. I figured I was cleaning up. This went on a few more times and then it stopped. Didn't print out a voucher for cash. Didn't do anything at all. Apparently ding, ding, ding means you get diddly squat. That was OK, because the locals were starting to eye me suspiciously by then, so it was time to leave anyway. 

In defense of this town, others in my group claim to have found some very charming places to get local beer. That's all fine and dandy, but it's not exactly the same experience I got by wandering off from the group. Sometimes you just need to explore on your own. And sometimes you get stabbed by a bunch of foreigners and have a kidney stolen. Luckily that didn't happen to me.

We spent two days in Prague, which is reputed to be the most beautiful city in Europe. Having not been in all of them, I can't say that is 100% true. But I can say that it is the most beautiful city that I have ever visited, and I would go back in an instant. The world's oldest brew pub is there, called U Flecku, and has been since 1499. They make one kind of beer, and it is outstanding. The black lager they make is so flavorful, yet light on the palate. Black lagers have a way of doing that, and it is one reason why I love them so much. I keep thinking that more American breweries will catch on to this style, but so far it remains pretty scarce here. Moonlight Death And Taxes out of northern California is the best I have had from an American brewery. It is the first tap handle I look for when I am in the Bay Area. But in Prague at U Flecku, they have an accompaniment that I will remember fondly for as long as I possibly can. They serve this stinky cheese with dense brown bread, whipped butter and raw garlic. Yes, totally raw cloves of peeled garlic. Spread the butter on the bread, stick a hunk of stinky cheese on there, slice off a chunk of garlic and eat it all. Wash it down with the black beer, and let me tell you something, it does not get much better than that. And they serve the beers to you until you tell them to stop, which I have encountered before in northern Germany. You don't order beer. When you sit down, they just bring it to you. And they keep bringing it to you until you tell them to stop, which is difficult, because they move quick and don't ask a lot of questions. You just might find yourself with a serious attitude adjustment and an afternoon of raw garlic burps after a few hours in this place. I did. And I would do it again tomorrow if I could.

We saw some other great places in Prague, including spending a few hours at the Prague Castle. It is definitely worth the trip to visit the castle, but be warned: This structure was built to defend the city from attackers, like most castles. So naturally it is on the highest point in the city, and there are no escalators folks. Stairs. A seemingly endless sequence of stairs going up and up and up. When you finally reach the top, you are almost there. The castle itself is on a hill at the top of a hill, so keep climbing. But it is worth it. The castle, cathedral and views of the city are spectacular. At the bottom of the stairs you can buy some fun street food, including a Czech favorite, corn on the cob. It's true, there's corn for sale all over that country. Not sure where they are getting fresh corn in February, but they've got a ton of it. Nothing soothes your aching joints after a vigorous hike up and down a mountain like a piece of corn, that's what I always say. What I needed was a wheelchair, not a piece of corn.

We sampled a lot of local beer at a few small breweries and a beer bar owned by an American. In addition to serving a bunch of Czech beers from 30 taps in his "Prague Beer Museum", he has his own beer called Two Tales. It is the same black lager style I love, with a ton of American hops. So basically a super hoppy black lager, or a black IPL if you want to go that direction. It was delicious whatever you want to call it. We found a bar off the beaten path--WAY off--that specialized in high-end European beers and a few American craft beers. Think lots of Mikkeller and Brew Dog stuff. Those folks were very cool, and our group of 28 people filled up the entire place. Prague was a very cool town, and I feel like two days was good, but I could have used at least one more there. Plus, if I had three days there, I could go to U Flecku three times.

Tale 1: Open; Tale 2: Enjoy. The End.

Our last day began on the bus early, and like all of these trips, we realized how much beer was left to be drank in a short period of time. The guys at Hofstetten had apparently loaded us up with a sizable amount of beer, and we had one last day to drink it. So by the time we arrived at the Weltenburg abbey in Kelheim, Germany for a brewery visit, everybody had to pee. You know how many bathrooms they have in a monastery? One. You know how long it takes over 20 people to go to the bathroom one at a time? Depending where you are at in that line, it can feel like an eternity, that much I know firsthand. We had a bathroom in the bus, but no one thought to use it because we were about to stop. You only use the bus bathroom when you really need it. Try peeing in a moving, bouncing, turning vehicle. It's not easy. Now drink a bunch of beer and try it. Doesn't get any easier. But anyway, once we got all of that squared away, we toured the beautiful monastery and the brewery on the grounds. We sampled their beers, and they were terrific. The brewery is a separate entity from the monastery, with the monks having nothing to do with the brewing. One notable thing that I saw on the road leading out of Weltenburg was a marker of remembrance to the American soldiers who lost their lives in World War II. I have seen a few of those in my travels through Europe, and it is nice to see that these folks put up permanent stone markers to thank the United States for sacrificing a lot of people to liberate Europe in the 1940's. We also saw one in Vienna for the Russian soldiers that liberated their city. Let's hope that none of those markers need to be erected in any more countries in our lifetimes.

After a nice lunch at the Schneider brewery (also in Kelheim), we arrived back in Munich. We had time for a few beer halls before a big dinner at Ayinger. The beer and food were so good, we almost lost Eddie. In a combination of eating, drinking and breathing, something went down the wrong way. Eddie made a series of noises and turned a series of colors that no human should make. Anyone nearby was immediately and seriously concerned. Like, "Is this guy going to die right in front of me?". Thankfully, after about fifteen minutes in the bathroom, he managed to get over or around or through whatever it was, and he did not, in fact, die that day in Munich. In fact, after a round of Underbergs, he was back to his old self. There was a moment when I thought, "This night is going to end in a hospital," or, "How do you tell his wife that her husband was killed by beer and sausages?" and, "Well, at least he died doing what he loves". But we were able to bring everyone home alive yet again.

That wraps up the short version of my trip. If you have been reading this blog for any considerable amount of time you know that I will have a slide show of many pictures posted from this trip. You will also know that this might take me a month or so to do. It's time consuming, and I get distracted. Please be patient. 

Have a great week everyone. Sorry for the long delay in posts. Things got in the way, like work and stuff. I am back now and totally caught up. Stay tuned for more adventures in beer. Bye for now.

Take me to the bridge.

    

It Was A Cluster-Shuck

I have been telling you about these events here at Heavy Seas for a while now, and now I have one under

my belt to help deliver first-hand details. If you had been here on Saturday at noon, here is what you would have found:

• Three bars pouring a combined 16 Heavy Seas beers (unlimited sampling!)
• A cask table pouring five different cask beers, all special in some way, including some cellar releases
• Table upon table of oyster shuckers popping open a seemingly endless variety of raw Chesapeake Bay oysters, with tables of lemons and horseradish and all of the fixings
• Three tables of grilled oysters
• Tables serving pit beef sandwiches, oyster stew, crab dip, cheeses, chocolates and more

You would have gotten all of that for four solid hours for just $60.00. And there was a live band. Talk about a deal. Everyone I talked to was in a great mood, and with the weather cooperating at a balmy mid-forties, it was a pretty awesome day. All of these amenities were spread out through the brewery, bottling department, warehouse and hospitality areas, so you really got the feel that you were in Heavy Seas, because you were. Next up is Real Ale & BBQ on Saturday, March 8th, and this one is only $50.00. Oysters are a little more pricey than BBQ, hence the price difference. The main attraction at Real Ale & BBQ is the real ale. Heavy Seas brewers get to make all kinds of tricked-out casks specially for this event, and they really, really like doing that. Tickets are selling fast, but you can get them here if you are planning on coming.  

You folks will probably not hear from me for a while unless I think of something really important to share with you before Friday. I am catching a flight to Germany on Saturday. I will be in the beer communities of Munich, Vienna, Pilsen, and Prague until the following Sunday the 16th. Here are just a few of the highlights from this trip:

• Hofbrauhaus and Ayinger Braustuben beer halls in Munich
• Stift Engelszell Trappist monk brewery in Austria
• Landbrauhaus Hofstetten farmhouse brewery (Austria)
• 7Stern brew pub, Vienna, Austria
• 1516 Brewing in Vienna, where Terrapin's brew master (Spike) will be brewing a collaboration beer
• Stadtbrauerei Schwarzenberg, Vienna
• Pilsner Urquell for brewery and lager cellar tour
• U Flecku, Prague (world's oldest brew pub)
• Weltenberg brewey (Germany)
• Schneider Weisses Brauhaus, Kelheim, Germany

That doesn't even include the numerous beer pubs and historical sites we will see along the way. As you can see, there won't be much time for sitting in front of a computer writing blog posts. I will be sure to take a lot of pictures and make a snazzy slide show when I return. Until then, stay warm, stay dry, and keep thinking spring. 

And I Was Like...BAM!

Yesterday I spent the best $107.00 ever. I have had a chipped molar since October that was tolerable until recently. I was not so troubled by not being able to chew on one side of my mouth. I could still eat. What I was troubled by, however, was the increasing sensitivity to cold. More importantly, cold beverages. You see, I tend to drink a fair amount of malt-based, foamy, cold beverages, and when that became almost unbearable (I said "almost"; I never gave up), I had to see a dentist. For the first time in roughly five years. Before that, I have no recollection. Wisdom teeth, 1991...I think. You see, I was blessed with genetically perfect teeth. Never had braces, never had a retainer, and I have not had a cavity since I was a kid. In fact, I only have four fillings, which my dentist claims is remarkable for a man of my age that almost never goes to a dentist. What can I say, I am good to my mouth and my mouth is good to me. We're together like almost every day.

But once I could not chew on that side and the sensitivity to cold was really turning into some serious discomfort, I had to break down and go see the dentist. Not to mention, I am going to Europe in a few days for a beer trip, so the beer drinking apparatus in my face had to be in tip-top shape. How's this for luck? The dentist was German...and I am going to Germany next week. Where is she from? Munich. Where am I arriving on February 9th? You guessed it. This lady loved me. I love Bavaria, she's from Bavaria. I adore Dusseldorf style altbier. Her parents live in Dusseldorf. Dr. Welzel wasn't going to send me off to the motherland with a bad tooth. Hell no. Sit back and get numb. She was going to fix me up on the spot. And she did. About 24 hours after I left the chair, I had almost forgotten I had been dealing with tooth pain for the last three months. If you are ever in Baltimore and you need a dentist, this lady is a damn artist. Thank you Dr. Welzel. I can enjoy beer again. For those of you that know me, you know how much weight that last statement carries. Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic, here I come.

But first, I have to tell you about yet another great reason to visit Maryland and Heavy Seas. I already told you about the hotel deal you can get near the brewery. I told you about the free shuttle to and from the brewery and hotel. I just showed you (above) merely one of the incredible specialty drafts you can get only at the brewery. But now I am going to tell you about...BAM! That stands for the Brewer's Association of Maryland. I am part of the events board for BAM, as a representative of Heavy Seas. We met today in the quaint, historic, not-so-small town of Frederick. First off, you don't get much better names for a city than that, let's all agree to that. Secondly, on May 31st, the breweries of Maryland take over a downtown park along a meandering stream for a full-on beer festival. How, you may be wondering, are you going to get from Baltimore to Frederick and back safely after a beer festival? What if there was a bus that took you from Heavy Seas to Frederick and back for $15.00? That is a one hour drive each way, for cheaper than a ten minute cab ride in most cities. Plus, this event is about MD beer and MD beer only, so every brewery is instructed to bring out the best of the best from their cellars and stashes. So maybe that bus idea is a wise choice for a beer drinker like you....Just sayin'.

Before I go, I want to make sure that you read the text on that firkin of Heavy Seas Gold. The hop additions are going to be very nice for sure, and the fruit additions are going to really make this one special, but the kind words from our brewers are really the icing on this cake. Thanks guys. We feel the love, and it's coming right back at you. Plus, they used correct grammar on "you're". If one more person texts or e-mails me "Your Welcome", I am going to scream. Please people, try to remember how to use the language that we speak in most of this country. It's not hard, so stop being lazy. Henry and Dave weren't lazy. They took the extra time to let the world know that this beer was loved and cared for by them personally. Can't wait to drink it, especially now that this tooth is all fixed!

Have a great weekend everyone. Bye.

Once You Go Black...Cannon

Sorry about that title. I couldn't resist. But depending on where you live, Heavy Seas Black Cannon should be showing up pretty soon, and it is delicious. The first loads went out to local distributors yesterday and more followed today. We are in the midst of a snowstorm though, so that is going to cause some delays for you folks that are farther away from the brewery. This storm is supposed to bring more snow than the area has seen "in years", to quote a local news source. I have not been to the grocery store yet, but I am relatively sure that panic has most likely set in, and the forecast for six inches of snow has caused hysteria. Now that it is affecting beer shipments, that hysteria might spread. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.

I had a really fun weekend. Hope you did too. I had a friend from out of town visit, and it's always nice to see old friends. We managed to find a whole bunch of cool spots here in Baltimore. We went to a shack on the outskirts of town for pit beef sandwiches slathered in tiger sauce (horseradish and mayo). Read more about pit beef and other Baltimore foods here. We found a ton of great beer bars with beers from all over the region and the country. Plenty of Belgian beers to drink in these parts too. I found out that I have an innate talent for shuffleboard (who knew?), or at least some serious beginner's luck. I discovered an upscale cocktail bar in an old house in a bad part of town with no signage. While there I learned what a pamplemousse is, and thereby learned my first word of Luxembourgian, which, in turn taught me what in the hell they call the language of Luxembourg. What did you learn the last time you went out drinking? I also met a young couple that paint in the nude on a very large canvas, using "unconventional techniques", as they put it. I'll let your imagination wander on that one. It won't take you long to figure out what they do. They said they started it as a joke, but people keep buying their paintings, so they keep making them. Hey, you need a hobby together to really make a relationship work. They found one.

This snowstorm actually did kind of ruin my day though. We were supposed to take a field trip to the Troeg's brewery in PA today, but the snow killed that idea. Nobody felt like getting trapped in a van down some ravine in Pennsylvania, eventually deciding which one of us we would have to eat to stay alive. We were all excited to go to Troeg's, but we decided to choose a time where the survival rate was closer to 100%. Stay tuned for those pictures and stories once we reschedule the field trip.

That is about all I have for you right now. Beer news, weather report, a kinky suggestion for a couples' night, some food research, foreign linguistics, and narrowly avoided cannibalism. Not bad for three paragraphs. One last thing though before I go please. I mentioned recently some great reasons to visit the brewery, and Baltimore in general. I will leave you with one more. Wood firkins. Real ones. Available at the brewery for special events only. This is what the brewers get excited to make at Heavy Seas, and they nail it. Have a good week everyone. Bye.

Thank God For Tacos

During the recent polar vortex, giant abominable snowpeople came with it and have taken up residence at

Heavy Seas. Pictured here is one of them holding a growler to give you some perspective on how massive these creatures actually are. Alert readers may notice that this particular yeti has shaved the white fur from his hand and has put on what appears to be a blue shirt. The yeti are an immensely adaptive species it turns out. It's true. They've only been here a week and they are already completely immersed into our culture. Just yesterday they finally stopped eating us. Now they mostly eat tacos, which, I am told, are quite scarce in their homelands. So when people ask, "How'd you survive the polar vortex?", I just say, "Tacos. Thank god for tacos."

What is crazy about the way a growler looks in the newly-shaven hand of a domesticated yeti is that it looks just like a 32 oz. growler in the hand of a normal sized (handsome) man. If I didn't know any better, I would swear that it was my hand holding a baby growler in that picture, which it is not. But if it was, how cool is a baby growler? It is like a single serving growler. Just fill it up, and when you're ready, twist off the top and...presto...quart of fresh draft beer in your hand. Fill a cooler full of those for your next tailgate party. Be cooler than anyone else. Ever.    

In other news, life in Baltimore is great. I am not getting a whole lot of exploration done because, well, it's January, and it's cold outside. But that is all about to change this weekend. It will still be January, and it will still be cold outside, but I will get a whole lot of exploring done. My friend who owns The Square Pub in Decatur, GA is coming to the brewery to make some casks on Friday. He is staying with me Thursday through Sunday, so this is a great chance to shake this town around and see what falls out. I have lists of places to check out, so stay tuned for some adventure details in the near future. If you are an Atlanta area reader, then get excited for The Square Pub to have some tasty, one-of-a-kind casks in a month or so. I am not sure what he is going to make, but they will be tricked out for sure. Maybe a bourbon-aged Peg Leg, which is outstanding by the way.

On another note, if you are a reader from outside the Baltimore area who loves Heavy Seas, I have some great news for you. There is a Hyatt hotel near the brewery that is offering reduced rates, free Heavy Seas beer and free shuttle rides to and from the brewery. There's free breakfast too, but after the free beer and free shuttle, you weren't going to get to pumped about that, so I mention it anyway just as a formality. There are a ton of things to do in this tow in 2014. Here's a very short and abbreviated list:

1. Make a visit to Heavy Seas.
2. 200th anniversary of the War of 1812. You've heard of the "Star Spangled Banner"? Well then get your red, white and blue on for this thing then. Ft. McHenry is only 8 miles from the brewery.
3. The 2014 NCAA Lacrosse Championships are 6 miles from the brewery.
4. The Preakness Stakes is run just north of the city, about 20 minutes from the brewery.
5. Orioles baseball games at Camden Yards. The park is 6 miles from the brewery.
6. Baltimore Beer Week is in October. Big fun all over town.
7. Ride the MARC train for $6 one-way to DC to see the monuments. Halethorpe train station is 1.5 miles from Heavy Seas.
8. Six huge events at the brewery, including the Real Ale & BBQ Fest in March, Burgers & Brews in April, and everyone's favorite, Beer & Bacon Fest in September.
9. Since I already told you about the Night Of 100 Elvises a month ago, let me share this little gem: The HampdenFest Toilet Races. Picture a soap box derby, except that instead of boy scouts, there are beer drinking adults in crazy costumes. And the seats of all the race craft are...toilets. Imagine deranged, costumed beer drinkers racing downhill in rickety wagons, while sitting on a toilet. What's not to love? 
10. Don't forget to visit the Heavy Seas brewery on your way out of town. BWI airport is 6 miles from the brewery. 

Those are just a few of the educational, entertaining, and beer/toilet-related activities that one might enjoy here in Baltimore. There are the usual: museums, aquarium, historical sights of all kinds, not to mention the Chesapeake Bay, the great seafood, farmer's markets, etc. that make this a great place to visit. If you like to gamble, they are building a big new casino right on the edge of downtown. It will have a Heavy Seas restaurant inside of it. That's right kids, your very own place to drink great beer and get quality burgers, inside a casino.

There are a ton more things to mention, but that is all the time I have for now. Have a great week everyone. And just to prove that you can find just about anything on the internet, I leave you with this: a picture of a yeti eating a taco. They love those damn things....

 

Hardly A Warm Reception

I went home to Michigan for Christmas. It was my first time back there in the winter in a few years, and man

was it memorable. Did you hear about the massive ice storm that wiped out power for 470,000 people in the upper Midwest last week? Count my mom as one of those people. No power or heat from Saturday, 12/21 around midnight until the morning of Thursday, 12/26, the day after Christmas. How cold was it in her house? The olive oil in the cupboard was frozen. The water in the toilets was frozen solid. Everything was frozen. Luckily she has a sister in the area, and she had plenty of room for us to stay. Believe it or not we were actually lucky. The power was not supposed to come back on for another few days. She was expecting to be out of power and heat for just over a week.

Basically what happened it that is rained, and as it got colder, the rain froze. Then the next day it rained again, and again it froze. Then it snowed. The trees could not handle the weight of the ice, branches cracked and fell, knocking down power lines across huge swaths of multiple states. The tops of trees looked like they had been snapped off by a giant, and large limbs were strewn everywhere. Pretty nasty stuff. Repair crews worked sixteen hour days and came from as far away as North Carolina to help in the effort to get people's homes lit and heated. So basically not your normal Christmas holiday, but one I will not soon forget, and one that certainly makes you thankful for the things that you so often take for granted, like lights that come on and a heater that heats the house.

Prior to that I did enjoy an exciting game at FedEx field on December 22nd. This is my third Cowboys/Redskins game in a row in that stadium, and all three have come down to the wire. There was an overtime game in 2011, a game-ending interception in 2012, and this year a fourth down from the ten touchdown pass to put the game away with one minute left on the clock. Win or lose, I got my money's worth each time I have been there.

Now I am back in Baltimore, getting ready for a New Year's Eve dinner party. I sure did enjoy the holiday in my younger days, but now it doesn't mean a whole lot to me. A relaxing day off tomorrow is something I am looking forward to far more that getting crazy at midnight tonight. But you do what makes you happy. Don't let me slow you down. Just remember, if you're feeling hungover tomorrow, just drink a lot of water. Stay away from the aspirin and ibuprofen. Those are processed by the liver, and seriously, don't you think your liver could use a rest? Drink a lot of water, take a nap, drink more water, and somewhere along the way take a hot shower. You'll survive, and you'll probably do it all again before too long.

Lots of Cowboys fans in there that day.

That's all I have for now. Have a great 2014 everyone. Talk to you then.

Roar? Please, God, Anything But That

So long story short, Heavy Seas got asked to be the sole provider of craft beer for the two-day holiday party at the International Monetary Fund in Washington D.C. Now in case you don't know how important the IMF is, the director is listed here as the 7th most powerful woman in the world. And there I was, at her holiday party for 1800 people in the nation's capital on Friday night. There were 1800 more people coming the following night. Pretty cool. I don't know the last time you threw a party for 3600 people, but the last time I did was never.

Even at the IMF, eye patches are a big hit.

This was no ordinary holiday party. No ugly sweaters, no eggnog, no cookies (as far as I could tell). Just people from all over the world, people who manage the economies of entire countries, in all kinds of dressy clothes of their nations of origin. The food was top-notch, there were three floors of party surrounding a central atrium, two different stages with live bands, and yep, you guessed it...karaoke. You can class up a joint all you want, but I guess you just can't have a proper office Christmas party without a damn karaoke machine. And let me tell you something, if you think Katy Perry sings like shit (and she does), wait until you hear a bunch of half-drunk economists get their hands on her material. Oh god, please make it stop. The tone-deaf caterwauling still haunts me in my sleep.

On the bright side, it was amazing to see how many people in that group were huge fans of Heavy Seas. One girl from some country in Asia, who weighed maybe 80 pounds, seemed to love Loose Cannon more than life itself. And she proved her point by having WAY too many, and eventually needing to be cared for by a slightly more sober friend. Ah, those wild and wacky IMF people. Even more encouraging than the number of fans we had in the room was the number of people who had never had Heavy Seas before, but became fans almost instantly. Based on the other beers they had to choose from--huge European imports and the usual domestic suspects--we were the only interesting beers in the building. People from all walks of life were enjoying fresh, locally made beer, and having a personal discovery right then and there. Good times.

My journey into the city prior to the event was difficult to say the least. D.C. is an unforgiving city to people who are driving around lost on a Friday afternoon. I'm sorry, but the one street I absolutely needed to find was closed for construction at the exact point I needed to be. A few wrong turns and some one-way streets later, well, it was a mess. But that's why you leave early when you don't know where you're going. Parking? Don't get me started. Once I finally found the deck I was supposed to be in I had already spent $10.00 on the street and had to move my car twice. And when the evening was all over at 1:30 am, do you think the door to the parking deck on the street was unlocked? Of course not. Do you think that the driving entrance to the deck was on the absolute opposite end of the building, and that it required walking all the way around that building which occupies an entire city block? Precisely. But that is just where the fun begins. Once I found the entrance and walked down to the elevator, do you think it worked? No, of course it didn't work. Now here is where you need to pay attention. When I opened the door to the stairwell, I immediately found another door just inches from the first one. That was the first clue that trouble was ahead. The first door opened towards me, but the second one opened away from me. OK, I thought, that's messed up, but just one floor down is my car, and let's just get this over with and go. Down one flight of stairs, and the door...was locked. Yes, dear readers, the door into the parking deck where my car sat was locked. So back upstairs to where I started, and I'll just walk down the ramp to my car. If you guessed that the door on that level was also locked, and that I was now trapped in the stairwell, you guessed right. Oh yes, creeping up on 2:00 am, trapped in a stairwell, and I had to urinate. Now you may recall that I originally walked down to the elevator that did not work, in order to find the doors that open oddly and lock behind you. So there was a street level above the top of where I appeared to be trapped. By walking up another flight of stairs to that level, a door opened into a guard station area, where a security guard was sitting, laughing, having watched this all transpire on his camera monitor. Glad that someone was enjoying this. When I got to my hotel it was 2:30 am, and I had to be up early to get back to Baltimore. I was too tired to be angry any longer, and a long, weird day was finally over.

I guess that's my story for now. On a high note, it looks like the colony of crows outside my windows that was trying to drive me insane has finally moved on to torture someone else. That was smart, because I was about to get serious about some avian extermination. I had a plan, and they would not have won. Turns out I had a very determined neighbor with an impressively loud air horn. This guy was up at 5:00 am blasting these birds with the air horn as soon as they started raising hell each morning. Apparently they love to make an incredible racket on their own, but when people return the favor, they can't deal with it. I was going to point a strobe light at their tree and hit 'em with a water hose at the same time. They don't like to wet I guess, or have light directed at them. For what are essentially flying rats, they sure are picky.

One last thing before I go. I am going to my third consecutive Cowboys/Redskins game in D.C. this Sunday. Typically this game has a little more meaning for at least one of the teams, but not this time. Either way, I will get to spend some time with a friend from Atlanta, which is the first time for that since I moved a month ago. I have a big beer trip planned for February as well. This year it is Munch, Vienna, Prague and Pilsen, so stay tuned for details and photos from that. Have a great holiday season folks. I will be in Michigan most of next week, so you may not hear from me for a while. Stay warm everyone. Bye.

Got Wood, Mon?

My new ride.

Sounds like a lot of people are wondering how the Night Of 100 Elvises went last Friday. I will tell you right now, that is one unique event. Wow. I saw just about everything you could imagine singing Elvis songs. Just to name a few: Lady E (that's right, a female Elvis), punk Elvis, belly dancers (some with more belly than dance) with Elvis, Santa Claus with Elvis, and no less than a half-dozen Elvises in their late 50's with jumpsuits unzipped down to their beer guts. In a word: awesome. A hunk, a hunk of burnin' awesome. Free beer. That's right. The Lithuanian Hall buys a ton of Heavy Seas beer and gives it away. You want wine, liquor or bad beer? Costs money. Want great local craft beer? Free! How about a shot of some home made Lithuanian honey/spice/grain alcohol called "viryta"? Only three bucks, so pace yourself. You can do what you want, but don't barf on my blue suede shoes.

Today I met an interesting guy who is an expert on wood. He managed to take his degree in whatever they call a degree in wood, and put it to use with breweries. His claim to fame is that he introduced Dogfish Head to the palo santo wood, which is used to create one incredible beer. This guy was at Heavy Seas today to discuss the upcoming Plank Three release that will coming in 2014. The style of the beer is still being determined, but it sounds like it will be of Belgian origin. The wood will be...Jamaican allspice. Didn't see that one coming, did ya? Stay tuned for more details, and be sure to grab it fast when it comes out. I doubt it will be around for long.

Hopefully everyone is getting close to being done with their Christmas shopping. I managed to get just about there this weekend, with just a few loose ends to tie up this week. I won't have Saturday to shop though, not that I looked forward to that mess. I am doing an event at the International Monetary Fund in Washington D.C. on Friday night. That's right, even the people who control the economy of the entire planet need to let their hair down for a holiday party. And they requested local beer. That was mighty thoughtful of them, and we certainly appreciate it. I guess I am going to need to tuck my shirt in for this one. Taking one for the team.

You will probably hear from me next week. Should be a pretty quiet week, at least until Friday the 21st. That is the day of our employee holiday party here at the brewery, and the day that a friend from Atlanta is coming to visit. Sunday the 22nd is my annual Cowboys at Redskins game (year 3), which, in case the NFL is listening, can be moved to October please. As much as I love sitting outside in the winter for three hours, which is not very much at all, I would be just fine doing it in the fall. Pretty please.

Have a great week everyone. Happy holidays. Be jolly like these guys.

Thirty minuted later there was about 50 of them.

You Had Me At Elvis

This was a real conversation I had last week:
"Hey Fred, what are you doing next Friday?"
"Nothing."
"I got a table at this fundraiser if you want to go. It's called 'Night Of 100 Elvises'. You interested?"
"You had me at 'Elvis'. I didn't even really need the other 99. I would have said yes to just one Elvis."

So tomorrow night I am going to the Lithuanian Hall for what looks like a rip-roaring good time. I don't have time to explain the whole thing to you, but here is the web site: http://www.nightof100elvises.com/. Let's just say that it is a whole lot of Elvis, a whole lot of free Heavy Seas beer, and fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches for dessert. Now I have never seen an Elvis impersonator live. On TV? Sure. Posing for pictures with tourists in Vegas? Yeah. But multiple Elvis impersonators on multiple stages on different floors all at one--and no songs are duplicated--well, this I have to see. I don't know what we're raising money for, and I don't really care*. This is going to be a trip. Apparently this thing has been a home-run here in Baltimore for twenty years, and I can't wait to check it out.

In other, non-Elvis-related news, today is the 80th anniversary of the actual repeal of Prohibition. And we have Utah to thank for it. That's right, by being the 36th state to ratify the 21st Amendment to the Constitution, Utah provided the final state needed to provide the two-thirds majority to pass the amendment. Pretty cool info. Didn't think you'd learn anything today did you? Did you know that Mississippi chose to maintain Prohibition until 1966. We already had people going into outer space and coming back alive, but you could not get a legal drink in Mississippi. Crazy.

So be sure to raise a toast to Utah today at 5:32 pm EST, wherever you are. And then raise one to every brave soul who lived in Mississippi from 1933 to 1966. What were they thinking? Pack up and move people! Maybe that's why there is so much poverty in that state. Anyone with the means to do it packed up and split so they could get a cold beer without breaking the law.

And while you're doing all of this toasting, raise one to the 1.78 million people that are employed in the brewing industry in this country alone. I'll drink to that. Have a great weekend everyone.

PS-- Fun Fact: Maryland was the only state to not pass a law enacting Prohibition. Once the federal law was enacted, there was nothing they could do about it though.

*The money goes to Johns Hopkins Children's Center, and I do care about that.  

And We're Back!

That's right kids, I did not forget about you. Last we spoke I was in a hotel room north of Richmond, VA,

waiting to get an early start the next day to meet the movers at my new place in Baltimore. That was just over two weeks ago. Everything went well with the move: I lost a ceramic something-or-other, plus two glasses. Not beer glasses though. Hell no. I took better care packing of those. They take such good care of me, it was only fair to return the favor. All of my framed artwork was intact, nothing was lost...I mean seriously, I gotta give those mover guys credit. I wholeheartedly recommend using Allied if you ever have a long move to make. Pay the extra money for the peace of mind. Trust me on this one.    

So...sorry that I have been out of communication lately. I have only been starting a new job after relocating 700 miles to a town I have only seen twice before. Then just setting up utilities, unpacking, finding my way around, getting lost, having my car towed, doing battle with a colony of crows that use my car for a toilet, having a plumbing disaster...so, you know, nothing much. Did I mention that I started a new job? Well that's going great, as if there were any doubts. When your new boss invites you over to his house to grill steaks after your first day because, "You probably haven't had a home cooked meal in a while," you know you're in good hands. Quality people for sure. Go buy some Heavy Seas beer and feel good about it. Don't do it for me, do it for yourself, and walk around all damn day proud of yourself for supporting a great operation. And if you insist on doing it for me, well OK, whatever makes you happy.

But actually, these beers might be hard to find from time to time. A new bottling line is being installed now, and a new brew system arrives in the spring. The supply vs. demand deficit should be under control soon...ish. In the meantime, I am trying not to drink too much beer, putting a bigger dent in the supply. I said I am trying. I didn't say I was succeeding.

Winter is fast approaching, and since I know that most of you reading this are the southeast and think that you are going to die if the temperature gets below 40 degrees, I just want to assure you that I am fine. The Mid-Atlantic is not like Siberia. It will hit 50 today. I did go out and buy an ice scraper/snow brush for my car yesterday though. Gotta be prepared. Damn thing was $16.99, so it better snow at least a few times this year.

One thing is for sure, December weather does not slow down beer events up here. There are things going on all over the area, so many that I have to skip some really killer ones that overlap. Next week I will be doing an event at the IMF in Washington D.C. Yep, yours truly will be rubbing elbows with the power brokers of the International Monetary Fund. Sounds like a wild and crazy bunch of reckless drunks, doesn't it? Not sure if I can run with that crowd of party animals. Yule Tide is out (and might even be gone by now), and this is an Imperial Red Ale brewed with ginger and aged in Jamaican rum barrels. Yes, it is as good as it sounds. Winter Storm was always a favorite of mine, but I must say, having it from a beer engine, fresh from the brewery, does not suck. Not even a tiny bit. Plan a trip to Baltimore next fall and find out for yourself.

Next up is the Mid-Atlantic Holiday Beer Tasting in Baltimore, followed by the annual Holiday Beer Tasting at RFD in D.C. Astute readers may remember RFD from wintertime posts in 2012 and 2011, where late-night D.C. Chinatown food was also discussed. Not sure if I can make both of these events or not, but damn it, I am going to try. My annual Cowboys at Redskins game is coming up December 22nd, so that will take me right into Christmas on my usual frenetic tempo.

Time for me to go now though. Duty calls. I will tell you more about the battle with the crows around here (I will not glorify them by calling them ravens). It does not appear to be ending very soon. Let's just say that I now understand why Edgar Allan Poe (a Baltimorean from back in the day) went berserk on drugs and alcohol. No doubt because of these flying pests with an endless supply of poop. No kidding. Endless. These animals need medial attention or something. I can deal with the squawking and cawing, just leave my damn car alone. Thanks to the internet, I learned that an effective way to get rid of crows is with a scarecrow. Thanks, Google. I didn't need a computer to tell me how farmers have been deterring crows for the last 300 years. I was looking for something a little edgier than a fake person in my yard. Pretty sure the city birds are a little more crafty than their country cousins. Either way, I will find the key to victory. Until then, have a great week.

Fare Thee Well...Fare The Well, I Love You More Than Words Can Tell

It has been a while building, but that did not make the last few days--Friday in particular--any less difficult. I have been going through a series of long good-byes for the last two weeks, which were a ton of fun, but they could not prevent the deep feelings that naturally arise when you leave somewhere you have been for a long time. I said good-bye to Atlanta, where I have lived for thirteen years, early this morning with a suitcase and a few house plants in my car. I gave everything I own to three strangers with a semi-truck on Tuesday. They are allegedly meeting me in Baltimore tomorrow morning and giving it all back. If you have never had movers take your stuff a long way away, that's what it feels like. Everything you own and hold dear gets given to a group of men you have never met, most of whose English is...marginal. Maybe. But hey, they say they are going to be at my new place at the crack of dawn, so we'll see how much of my shit they broke over the last four days, and then start unpacking. I start my new job on Monday, about which I am inexplicably excited. The new challenges that are already coming to me via e-mail and phone are making this move look the great idea I always knew it was. He shoots, he scores! Feels good.

But now I am enjoying being able to sit in a chair and watch TV and use a computer. Since those strangers left with all my stuff, I have been living in an empty place while they worked their way up to Baltimore. Toothbrush, air mattress, a few changes of clothes, and my Brita. Soap and shampoo were there as well. A towel. You get the picture. Since around noon on Tuesday, that is all I had. That explains the long good-byes, because seriously, I had nothing to sit on, nothing to watch, listen to, or read. I managed to see a matinee of Bad Grandpa though. I am not going to tell you to go out and see this movie, because I don't know you. I, personally, laughed until tears ran down my face on multiple occasions. So did the rest of the audience. Jackass movies are OK in my book. A lot of time to spend for a short amount of material if you ask me. But this movie was pretty damn funny the whole way through. They needed to put some calmer parts in there so the audience could stop laughing and breath for a minute. No kidding. Please remember this important point: It's raunchy. If you can't laugh at raunchy humor, stay home. You will...disapprove...to put it mildly.

I do not like to be in a car for long periods of time (defined by anything more that about four hours). So today's drive was going to be a challenge for me patience-wise. To get from Atlanta to Baltimore it takes about ten and a half hours. Problem is, if you don't time your drive correctly, you might just wind up in metropolitan Washington D.C. traffic, which makes Atlanta traffic look like a cream puff. Since I didn't need to be in Baltimore until Saturday morning, I found a hotel in a quiet town about two hours away. So I am in Ashland, VA, within striking distance from my destination, after a nine hour drive that included a few stops. I told you, I don't like to be in the car for a long, long time. Coffee, gas, bathroom, El Carbonero.

El Carbonero? Oh, yes. By 11:45 a.m. I was pulling into the El Salvadorean place called El Carbonero in Graham. NC, and you can read a few things about it here. Folks--first of all, if you know where Graham, NC is, then you must either live in "the triangle" or have family there; secondly, if you knew there was El Salvadorean food there, then you obviously live in that town. And you are most likely Hispanic. By using an on-line map service from Atlanta (it was Google, duh), I was able to determine where I would be en route to the east coast by lunch time. Thanks to Yelp! (and I realize the drawbacks inherent there), I was able to locate El Carbonero and its consistent five-star rating, inside this small town near the Virginia/North Carolina border. The on-line directions? Spot on. Timely? I was ten minutes late, but I had stopped three times already. I could have easily been a few minutes early.

Exterior? Could use some work, which may indicate some serious grub. If you think the best food comes from the prettiest places, then you make too much money, and probably wish you were still cool. Interior? About what the exterior indicates: no frills, but kick-ass food. And when there is a  sign that says "Cash Only", you probably just hit gold. Like I did. Chuletas Fritas apparently means "fried pork chops" or, in my vernacular, "Can I kiss the woman who made me this food?". Occasionally while I was eating, an older woman in shorts and a t-shirt cam out of the back. She was wearing a hairnet, which tipped me off that she cooked. I hoped. The servers spoke English to me, but being the only gringo in the place, they spoke Spanish to everyone else. After you eat you get a hand-written check. Then you get up and go pay at the counter. The cook lady with the shorts and hairnet is taking payments. Cash only. That, boys and girls, is what you call teamwork, El Salvador style. I will leave you with two last things on this story. One: Get the pork chops at El Carbonero; Two: Find out what that chicken soup is that all of the Hispanic customers are eating. Looked pretty outrageous, and all of the non-Gringo had a huge bowl of it.

Excuse me? $8.95? I guess that seems fair.

That is about all I have for you for now. I am enjoying a Devil's Backbone Eight-Point IPA, which is made not far from here, up in the Shenandoah Mountains . Great to see regional IPA for sale at area grocery stores in a semi-rural area. Also great to see local shoppers snatching up the six-packs of those same local beers. I was looking at the whole beer cooler for more than a few minutes, and saw one guy grab a case of light beer, while six or more people bought local or other quality beer. I sure hope that you are all following the same patterns. Buy local and drink local. What's good for your local brewer is good for your local economy. Are you part of the solution? Don't be part of the problem.

New Horizons, New Adventures

After a long and illustrious career with Taco Mac, I will be changing course for a new direction. You can still

follow my adventures here at Fred's Beer Page if you like, and I hope that you do. They will mainly be concerning the goings-on at Heavy Seas Brewing Co., which is where I am setting sail for post-haste. I have to sell a condo first, so if you know anyone looking for a really cool, modern two-bedroom on a quiet street in a great part of town, contact Marilou Young at Virtual Properties. I actually already have an offer, but you can offer me more if you want!

I am extremely excited about the new career and the relocation. I spent eleven years in one place in Michigan where I worked for a brewery, followed by thirteen wonderful years here in Atlanta working for Taco Mac. It was time for a new adventure, and there was no question that beer would have to be heavily involved. The people and the brews at Heavy Seas have always been some of my favorites, and I am lucky to have landed there with them. As the brewery and pub operations at Heavy Seas progress there will be a ton of new challenges to overcome, and lots of exciting solutions to find in order to do so.

I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my blog over the years, and the nice things that many of you have said about reading it when we saw each other socially. Unfortunately the next few weeks will be spent packing and moving, so there won't be too much excitement there. Once I get my feet on the ground in Baltimore, I will be sure to update you on my situation. Until then, over and out!

GABF...DRBT....PPPFFFT!

Sound like someone's in the middle of a losing battle with the bottle. But no, that is just what's on tap for the next

few days: Great American Beer Festival, Denver Rare Beer Tasting, and then probably being pretty wiped out when I get home on Saturday. As I mentioned, there are tons of special, smaller events in, around and after the main goings on in Denver this week for beer lovers. Tonight is the Left Hand Brewing 20th Anniversary party, billed as "20 Years and 20 Beers". They are bringing back a bunch of specialty beers they have not brewed in a while, plus busting out some new and wild concoctions. Wish me luck.

As if resting was ever on the agenda for more that a minute or two these days, we are going to jump right into the Decatur re-opening to the public on Tuesday. The building looks great, and anyone who was ever in the old one will barely recognize the place. More than just a face lift, this was a total overhaul. The draft selection looks great, of course, and they have a special cask for Tuesday night. A few of the employees went over to Red Brick during the closure of Taco Mac and helped make a cask of Vanilla Gorilla blended with two types of chili peppers and a dose of cinnamon. They are also going to be tapping a different cask from a local brewery each night after that (except Thursday, that is pint night). They are all listed as, for example, "Red Brick Decatur RO Cask", or "Three Taverns Decatur RO Cask". The "RO" stands for "re-open", so each of these is a completely unique Brewniversity credit that will never appear again. In addition to Red Brick and Three Taverns, they will have one from Terrapin, Blue Tarp, Monday Night and JailHouse. You will need to be there to find out what kind of beer is actually in them.

Once that week is complete, it's Atlanta Beer Week. Taco Mac has events planned each day, and some at multiple stores. I will have a complete list for you next week. I have told you for weeks now to clear your calendars, so if you have things booked during ABW and miss these beer events, don't come crying to me. I tried. You didn't listen.  

That is all I have time for today kids. The airport is calling. I am outta here. Have a great weekend.

PS-- There are only about 15 spots left for the Innis & Gunn event at The Fred Bar on Wednesday the 23rd. Just scroll down a few blog posts to see all of the relevant details. It is rare chance to meet the owner, founder and brew master, in town from Scotland for an appearance. Don't miss out.