Friday, October 9, 2009

Butt Jokes. Who Knew?

Thank you everyone for the feedback on last week's post. I guess farts are funny. Who knew? Apparently adults are still amused by flatulence, stories about flatulence, even the mere utterance of the word "flatulence", etc. In "Galapagos" by Kurt Vonnegut, the futuristic world is inhabited only by a species of highly advanced dolphin-like creatures. Their only similarity to humans as we know them, is that they still laugh when someone farts. Kurt Vonnegut was one of the brightest and most thought-provoking minds of the modern era, and even he had to give props to the humor of farting. If you have not ever read his "Slaughterhouse Five", you need to get yourself a copy. It isn't about killing animals for food. It's about war, and is one of the most monumental works of fiction in the pantheon of human creativity. A poignant message to humanity then, now, and forever. No farting in that book, though.

So, moving on.....Tonight there is a cask of Terrapin BIG Hoppy Monster at Metropolis. I am headed that way once I am through here. Saturday there is the 1st Annual West GA Beer Festival. Click on this link for more info: This is going to be a great event, with all of the proceeds benefiting Camp Twin Lakes, which is Taco Mac's main charitable cause every year. Beer people (that means you) have a superb history of supporting good causes while having fun. Doing good (i.e. drinking beer) never felt so good. Unfortunately I will not be able to be there. There is a wedding in Athens that I need to attend. Who? The guy in the viking helmet from April's posts. He's the sales and marketing genius from Terrapin. Reception is at the brewery, and the super-secret stash is getting broken wide open for this bash. Nope, not gonna suck.

Next Saturday is the Decatur Beer Fest. I have been known to make an appearance there, and intend to do so this year for sure. If anyone is having a hard time finding beer events these days, they are blind. In fact, next year I am thinking of sponsoring the 1st Annual Atlanta Beer Fest For The Blind, just to make sure that every man, woman and inner child in metro Atlanta has a beer fest just for them. But seriously, this town has gone beer crazy lately, and who doesn't like to get out and mingle with other like-minded people, drink beer and enjoy the sunshine?

My second trip to Denver in two weeks was great. I brought back a good amount of beer in my checked bag. The problem was that it was in the same bag as my computer, so I was especially nervous that if there was any breakage, my computer would be soaked in beer. Yeah, this is a work computer, so I would have to explain that. "I, um, have no idea why beer is dripping out of it. Total mystery. I mean, it was fine when I went to bed, and I woke up and it's like someone just poured beer all over it. ALL over it, and inside of it. Crazy. Hmmpff." So as I waited for the conveyor to start sending the bags crashing onto the roundabout thing, I was especially concerned. I was actually thinking about how I would in fact explain why I needed a new computer when I got to work the next day. "Holy shit! I got robbed. Guy just ran up on me and stole my computer. Didn't even get a look at him. Total pro. Wow. Thank god no one was hurt though, you know. I mean, that's what's important, right? Everything else, computers, it's just stuff. So, yeah. I'm gonna need a new one I guess." And all of a sudden, my bag was the very first one off the conveyor! Show of hands of who has ever had that happen. Uh-huh, that's what I thought. Bag was totally dry, all beers in tact, why did I even doubt myself? Like I don't cram beer in my luggage every time I fly somewhere cool. Some of that beer will accompany me to Metropolis tonight.

I'm really not in the mood to discuss how the Cowboys played on Sunday. It was a beautiful day to be at Invesco/Mile High, and the fans were almost as great as the seats I had. However, I can still smell Tony Romo's performance. He stunk worse than the GABF on Saturday night. He stunk worse than New Orleans in the summer. Oh yeah, that bad, because New Orleans reeks. Hey, Dallas Cowboys, you need to score more than 10 points to win on the road. Pathetic.

OK, so that's it for now. Cask tonight, wedding in Athens tomorrow, back to work on Monday. Enjoy the weekend people. And if Dallas loses to KC on Sunday, I'm going to need a deal on a new TV, because a beer bottle is going through the one in my living room.

Photo 1 is pretty obviously the start of the game last week. Photo 2 is of the casks and "foeders" at New Belgium. They are pronounced "food-ers", and are giant wooden wine fermenters from France. New Belg. ferments different beers in them, and blend them sometimes to create different sour ales, etc. They have a permanent spigot on the side, about 1/3 of the way from the floor. We got to pull samples from Foeder #13. It was the one that one a big award at GABF. Extra special tasty for real. Great people at that brewery that honestly love their work. More pictures to follow. You can probably tell that this Google blog thing is not treating me right regarding photos. It seems to have a mind of its own.

Dear Mr./Ms. Computer Engineer-

Here in the real world, where not everyone is some egg-headed genius, it would be totally awesome if you stopped making the machines do what you think we want them to do. You can go back to making the machines do what we tell them to do instead, and that would be great. Thanks.


Every Other Person Besides Yourself.