Monday, January 13, 2014

Thank God For Tacos

During the recent polar vortex, giant abominable snowpeople came with it and have taken up residence at
Heavy Seas. Pictured here is one of them holding a growler to give you some perspective on how massive these creatures actually are. Alert readers may notice that this particular yeti has shaved the white fur from his hand and has put on what appears to be a blue shirt. The yeti are an immensely adaptive species it turns out. It's true. They've only been here a week and they are already completely immersed into our culture. Just yesterday they finally stopped eating us. Now they mostly eat tacos, which, I am told, are quite scarce in their homelands. So when people ask, "How'd you survive the polar vortex?", I just say, "Tacos. Thank god for tacos."

What is crazy about the way a growler looks in the newly-shaven hand of a domesticated yeti is that it looks just like a 32 oz. growler in the hand of a normal sized (handsome) man. If I didn't know any better, I would swear that it was my hand holding a baby growler in that picture, which it is not. But if it was, how cool is a baby growler? It is like a single serving growler. Just fill it up, and when you're ready, twist off the top and...presto...quart of fresh draft beer in your hand. Fill a cooler full of those for your next tailgate party. Be cooler than anyone else. Ever.    

In other news, life in Baltimore is great. I am not getting a whole lot of exploration done because, well, it's January, and it's cold outside. But that is all about to change this weekend. It will still be January, and it will still be cold outside, but I will get a whole lot of exploring done. My friend who owns The Square Pub in Decatur, GA is coming to the brewery to make some casks on Friday. He is staying with me Thursday through Sunday, so this is a great chance to shake this town around and see what falls out. I have lists of places to check out, so stay tuned for some adventure details in the near future. If you are an Atlanta area reader, then get excited for The Square Pub to have some tasty, one-of-a-kind casks in a month or so. I am not sure what he is going to make, but they will be tricked out for sure. Maybe a bourbon-aged Peg Leg, which is outstanding by the way.

On another note, if you are a reader from outside the Baltimore area who loves Heavy Seas, I have some great news for you. There is a Hyatt hotel near the brewery that is offering reduced rates, free Heavy Seas beer and free shuttle rides to and from the brewery. There's free breakfast too, but after the free beer and free shuttle, you weren't going to get to pumped about that, so I mention it anyway just as a formality. There are a ton of things to do in this tow in 2014. Here's a very short and abbreviated list:

  1. Make a visit to Heavy Seas.
  2. 200th anniversary of the War of 1812. You've heard of the "Star Spangled Banner"? Well then get your red, white and blue on for this thing then. Ft. McHenry is only 8 miles from the brewery.
  3. The 2014 NCAA Lacrosse Championships are 6 miles from the brewery.
  4. The Preakness Stakes is run just north of the city, about 20 minutes from the brewery.
  5. Orioles baseball games at Camden Yards. The park is 6 miles from the brewery.
  6. Baltimore Beer Week is in October. Big fun all over town.
  7. Ride the MARC train for $6 one-way to DC to see the monuments. Halethorpe train station is 1.5 miles from Heavy Seas.
  8. Six huge events at the brewery, including the Real Ale & BBQ Fest in March, Burgers & Brews in April, and everyone's favorite, Beer & Bacon Fest in September.
  9. Since I already told you about the Night Of 100 Elvises a month ago, let me share this little gem: The HampdenFest Toilet Races. Picture a soap box derby, except that instead of boy scouts, there are beer drinking adults in crazy costumes. And the seats of all the race craft are...toilets. Imagine deranged, costumed beer drinkers racing downhill in rickety wagons, while sitting on a toilet. What's not to love? 
  10. Don't forget to visit the Heavy Seas brewery on your way out of town. BWI airport is 6 miles from the brewery. 
Those are just a few of the educational, entertaining, and beer/toilet-related activities that one might enjoy here in Baltimore. There are the usual: museums, aquarium, historical sights of all kinds, not to mention the Chesapeake Bay, the great seafood, farmer's markets, etc. that make this a great place to visit. If you like to gamble, they are building a big new casino right on the edge of downtown. It will have a Heavy Seas restaurant inside of it. That's right kids, your very own place to drink great beer and get quality burgers, inside a casino.

There are a ton more things to mention, but that is all the time I have for now. Have a great week everyone. And just to prove that you can find just about anything on the internet, I leave you with this: a picture of a yeti eating a taco. They love those damn things....