Sunday, April 5, 2009

I Like Eggs, Just Not That Much.

While talking on the phone to my mom today, I was reminded that this coming Sunday is Easter. I remember the excitement as a child of hunting around grandma's yard for colored eggs, the fake plastic grass nestling foil-wrapped chocolates in pastel baskets, huge glazed hams with all the fixings. Pretty standard Easter memories. We used to love it. Springtime up north, I'm sorry lifelong southerners, is just a lot more important than it is down here. When you have been getting snowed on mercilessly for the last 4 months, spring is a big deal.
The thought occurred to me, as I was looking over the stockpile of hearty fall and winter seasonal beers in my fridge, that all of the best holidays are for kids. Why do they get to have all of the fun? They don't work for a living, go to war, sit in traffic, have tragic love affairs, or even have to know the horror that is Phil Collins. They don't really do anything but have fun. And don't get me started on school. Like that is even hard anymore. Have you talked to a teenager lately? I hope you know a lot about video games, because that is about the extent of their vocabulary right now. It is about time for the adults to stand up for themselves, and say, "Kids, you're going to bed early tonight. Mommy and daddy are gonna pop the tops on a few cold ones. What do you mean only 6:30? Back in my day we went to bed at 5:30, and our pillows were made of logs! Now go upstairs! And remember, mommy put a monster under your beds that eats little children's feet when they touch the floor. Night night."
I propose that adults have a Beer-ster in the spring. Seasonal beers getting boring? Get the gang over to your house and hide a bunch of wacky strong ales, some double IPAs, coffee stouts, whatever you have. Hey, even mix in a few bad beers. It would be like when you got the mottled-looking, half grey/half poop-colored egg the slow kid from down the street dyed. "Oh crap! I got a Blatz." Imagine the unbridled excitement of adults rummaging through the shrubbery, pulling out aged barley wines, or corked 750s of Belgian ale. If you want to wear gaudy pastel outfits, hey, it's your party. Frankly, I would not recommend it. I would wear something that will hide the stains of whatever beer you will eventually spill on yourself and/or others. Preparation really is everything.
As far as cuisine for Beer-ster goes, I am OK with the ham, personally. I currently have no issues with the traditional Easter meal. You are free to do whatever you want. Like I said, it's your party. Order Thai food for all I care. Start your own brand new tradition. I mean, I like eggs, but not that much. I'm not crawling around in bushes for 'em anymore, I don't care what color you make them.
A hide-and-seek the beer party? That sounds more like it. Besides, spring is an amorous seasonal for many species. How are eggs going to put anybody in the mood? The scientific evidence linking beer to the reproductive habits of humans is well documented. I mean, everybody has heard of beer goggles, right?

Here are some notable beer-related issues. This is kind of like Beer-ster, but I am going to tell you where they all are. No shrubbery. There are also not any hams currently being prepared at this time, at least not that I am aware of.
  • Mon.-Wed. 8 stores are releasing the RJ Rockers Son Of A Peach. Come get a sneak peek at this new seasonal 4-6 weeks before its mass roll-out. Canton (I will be there), Woodstock and Newnan go Monday; Metropolis, Lindbergh (me again) and East-West are on Tuesday, and Johns Creek (me, plus they have tons of new items coming in right now) and Duluth go Wednesday. Come out and meet someone from or associated with the brewery.
  • Dominion's Millennium Barley Wine is coming to Woodstock, G Mall, Duluth, Canton and Old Milton this week. Scott from Dominion will be at G Mall on Friday if you would like to ask him any questions. He is a great guy, and is local as well. This beer is only available 1 time a year, and tastes great. Feel free to call other stores receiving this beer to see if Scott will be near you. He is setting that calendar up as we speak.
  • Two little kegs of Brooklyn Intensified Coffee Stout just arrived. I sent them to Newnan and Suwanee. I hope to be serving them by Tuesday, but am not 100% sure. Call before you make a special trip please. The beer is not in the buildings yet, so Tuesday may be a little premature to get everything installed, cleaned, etc. We have a renewed relationship with Brooklyn, so look for more specialties to come in the future (Brooklyn Blast is next).
  • Put Monday 5/11 on your calendar. I will tell you this, and only this: You will need safe transportation to and from our original store in Virginia-Highlands on that day. The mystery event begins at 5 pm, so tell your boss you have a doctor's appointment at 3, because traffic after 4:30 around there gets crappy. Trust me, I live 5-6 blocks away. No, you can't stay with me that night, sorry. If you miss this, it is your own fault. I gave you 5 weeks' notice. (Hint: If you have been following this blog for a while, you probably already know what it is. However, the first tastings of this beer are just now being reported, and they are exemplary.)
  • Terrapin's newest Side Project, Monk's Revenge is in at Johns Creek, Woodstock, V-High, Windward, Cumming, Canton and Metropolis. Hurry, this is a small batch.
  • Smuttynose Hanami is at Duluth, Crabby, Kennesaw, and Perimeter (lots of stuff going in here, too!). Kennesaw is getting the Smuttynose Mai Bock soon. Let's get out there and wipe out these seasonals. The faster we do that, the more esoteric beers they will keep coming.
  • The Fordham Spring Buck (also represented by Scott from Dominion) is going in at Dallas Hwy, Metropolis, Kennesaw and East-West. This is a Belgian-style blonde, done extremely well here in the states. Check it out. (Psst! It is really affordable too!)
  • Lindbergh has the He'Brew Barrel-Aged Messiah Bold coming in. Good stuff. They also may have a keg of Dogfish Head Black & Blue. Call before you head in there for that. If they get it, expect it be gone in a day or so.
That, beer fans, is the short & skinny report for now. There is a ton more activity out there in Taco Mac land as usual. Too much to mention in one sitting. Thanks for coming out for the cask of Highland last Wednesday. The beer was great, and there were a lot of friendly people as expected. Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you for the RJR beer this week. Also, pending upcoming reports, we may have a "Kill Ron" event at Ellard or Decatur. We will get the heavy-hitters together (you are included) and see just how long it takes to drink a keg of beer. I will keep you posted.